Unfocusing

I’ve been up for three hours already and have had the word “focus” in my mind since last night, when Kate sent out the prompt. And yet… I can’t focus on a word or a theme.

There’s always a reason these days to lose focus – I wanted to get to bed early because the night before was filled with interruptions. This morning, Elle woke up bright eyed and ready to go before six; I needed a cup of coffee; Bea woke up and wanted to do puzzles. There’s always a pull from my attention.

I enrolled in a blogger’s workshop and one of the questions was to think of the why for blogging – what’s your focus. My mind drew a blank. I’m not really a mommy-blogger or a faith-blogger or anything. I just write about life and try to piece things together. It feels very unfocused.

IMG_9955.jpgMaybe I’m putting too much emphasis on having a focus these days. I could say my kids are my focus but that’s not completely true (or healthy…) My own passions certainly aren’t my focus, though I’m learning to make space for them. Frank and I are trying to carve out focused date nights in this highly-dependent season.

Perhaps what I really need to do is embrace the unfocusedness of this season. To recognized that I simply can’t one hundred percent focus on anything – and that’s ok.

I’m not saying I need to spread myself thin or do things in a half-hearted manner. But, if I shift my expectations and change my thinking, perhaps the truly important aspects of this season will come into focus. They may change from day to day or hour to hour and I’m learning to go with the flow.

Are you in a stage where you can be focused on goals or are you in a season of bits and pieces?

Linked with Kate Motaung’s Five Minute Friday, a time to write without editing. Today’s prompt is focus.