I had one of those days, with a sticky comment to mediate in a group I manage followed by an intense breakfast conversation about business and identity and life-choices. I went to the park and was met with yet another conversation that would have been a fun,
lively debate over drinks but turned into what felt like an attack in the middle of the playground. By noon, I was done “adulting.”
So I did what any 36-year-old mom would do. I called my mom and asked if we could come over for lunch. As the girls got settled with mac & cheese and Pinkalicious, I felt myself slip into the safety of processing life with my parents. I was hugged and affirmed and felt so much better.
The day was still exhausting. I felt like quitting everything and becoming a hermit for the summer. And, while breaks are important, that’s not really how conversations continue or conflict is resolved, is it?
My biggest takeaway is the importance of having a safe place. I’m thankful my parents live close by and that, when I walk in the door, I’m just their daughter. It’s what I hope my girls will feel when they’re grown – that, no matter where life takes them or how small or big the hurt is, they can come home and just be our daughters.
There’s something profound about that experience, of being known and held. I know for some, that will be found in friendships rather than family relationships but, regardless of who is holding me, I’m remembering to turn to community when I really want to retreat. To reach out when I feel overwhelmed. And to find people who simply hold me, no matter what.
Do you have a place you can return when life gets hard? How do you cope with too much “adulting”?
Linked with Five Minute Friday, a time to write without editing. Today’s prompt is “return.”
We often wish for a return to simpler times, when the world seemed easy to figure out and sort into categories. I wonder, though… When did those times ever exist? I’m over at SheLoves Magazine today reflecting on what it means to long for something with a relatively young worldview. Here’s an excerpt-I hope you’ll join the conversation over at SheLoves!
“I’ve been painting since I was young,” my five-year-old recently told a friend. My friend and I laughed about Bea’s tendency to frame her life experiences as though she were an old woman, looking back over the years. She loves phrases like, back in the day and remember when to tell stories of her half-decade on this earth.
I’ve been reflecting about this attitude within our nation lately. Historically speaking, we haven’t been around all that long. Really, to be a nation for 240 years and a “world power” for less than a century isn’t all that long. Spain and Portugal ruled the “Age of Discovery” for 200 years. The sun didn’t set on the British Empire for 250 years after, longer than we’ve been a nation.
And yet we talk about historical preservation as though we are an old nation, looking back on a life well lived. We fail to realize that we are still actively living recent history. That in a hundred years, seemingly big events will be lumped together. I wonder if the Vietnam War will mark the beginning of American Colonialism, when history is reflected? I wonder if the Civil Rights Movement will stretch from the 1960’s into the 2020’s continuously when our great-grandchildren write of this time?
As a Christian in the modern United States, I sometimes see a call to “return to our roots,” to a simpler and more ordered time. We aren’t talking about our actual ancient roots; this is usually a call to return to life sixty years ago. In many ways, this is like a five-year-old reminiscing about all the accomplishments in her young life. Head over to SheLoves to read the rest!
How do you view history and our place as a nation in it? Do you think it’s fair to reminisce about “the good old days” when you’re young?